The 10 Most Common Reasons ADHD clients tell me they drink
As a therapist and coach who works at the intersection of ADHD and grey area drinking, I hear a lot of the same stories from clients about why alcohol has become such a significant part of their lives.
And for most of them? It’s not about celebration or fun. It’s about relief.
👉🏼A way to get through the day or the ‘witching hour’ when everything feels too much.
👉🏼A coping tool that starts off feeling helpful... but over time becomes another problem to manage on top of everything else.
But here's what I want you to know. This is not a personal failing, it’s your ADHD.
There are clear, understandable reasons alcohol has become so woven into the way many ADHDers cope with life*
*in my experience, these also apply to highly sensitive people, empaths and those with complex trauma histories.
Once you understand the role of dopamine, genetics and the corrosive impact of chronic stress and shame on our brains and systems, you get why you’ve been pushing uphill with this, perhaps for a looooong time.
You realise it’s not actually your fault - even if it is now your responsibility.
If you see yourself in any of these, I hope it brings some relief. I hope it helps quiet the inner critic just a little. And perhaps it can offer an alternative explanation as to what might be driving the patterns. So here they are:
It’s Not You, It’s Your ADHD: 10 Reasons Drinking Becomes a Lifeline
1. “It’s the only thing that turns my hectic, racing head off.”
The mental noise is constant — and exhausting. Alcohol can feel like the only off-switch that works. It’s fast. Predictable. It quiets the internal chaos... even if just for a bit.
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2. “I’m so overstimulated by the time I get home, I can’t deal with the kids/partner.”
After a full day of people-ing, intruding noise, decisions, emails, interruptions, pointless meeting after pointless meeting - coming home to more demands can tip you over the edge into sensory overload.
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3. “I can’t sit still in the evening, relax or sleep without it.”
Transitioning from ‘on’ to ‘off’ is something ADHD brains struggle with. Restlessness, racing thoughts, and wired-but-tired energy makes relaxing almost impossible.
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4. “My emotions are just SO BIG - every single day feels like a rollercoaster.”
Emotional dysregulation is real, even if it’s not in the DSM as a symptom. When you feel everything intensely — joy, shame, irritation, rage, sadness — it’s hard to stay balanced when you so easily go from 0-100. It’s exhausting and alcohol can feel like it’s helping.
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5. “I’m overwhelmed by daily life and constantly feel I’m falling behind. Everyone else makes it look easy.”
Living with ADHD often means struggling with the basics — planning, prioritising, getting things done. Watching others seemingly ‘nail life’ while you feel stuck or like a failure reinforces feelings of shame or defectiveness that may have been there since childhood.
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6. “I’m exhausted and on the verge of burnout.”
So many of my clients are running on empty - masking, performing, pushing. There’s no pause button in sight. It’s often what we’ve always done to force ourselves to ‘do all the things’. This can lead to not just burn out, but sleeplessness, chronic tension and pain in our bodies and health issues.
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7. “I’m soooo bored, I want to tear my skin off.”
Boredom can feel like physical pain to us. Like we are about to burst out of our skin and run for the hills. And when life feels dull or flat - which is a normal part of life for everyone - alcohol gives a fast, predictable dopamine hit.
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8. “I can’t socialise without it — it takes the edge off the awkwardness.”
Social situations can be a minefield; we often loathe small talk and feeling inauthentic. Then there’s rejection sensitivity, social anxiety, overthinking, feeling like you don’t quite fit in, overstimulating loud busy environments. It’s a lot.
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9. “I don’t know how I got on earth my life got here, but it feels so chaotic. I just need the escape of alcohol to survive.”
When life is spiralling — missed deadlines, financial stress, forgotten appointments, relationship tension — it can feel like you’re drowning. And adding one more thing (like changing your drinking or finding healthier coping strategies) feels impossible. You’re in survival mode, leaing it difficult to access the parts of the brain needed for solutions.
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10. “I’m living a life that’s not mine” (but I might not know it yet).
So many of my clients are drinking to tolerate the intolerable. The job they hate, chained to a desk. The relationship that hasn’t been great for years. The social life that feels fake as f*ck. The rushing, the masking, the small talk, the constant confusion. This often coincides with mid life and a realisation that time is ticking and we’ve signed up to a life we were told was ‘the way it is’. White picket fences and all.
TL;DR - ADHD plays a significant role in the overconsumption of alcohol, soothing a nervous system that's constantly on high alert, numbing emotional pain, or getting a moment of peace in a brain that rarely switches off.
But that relief doesn’t last. Worse, over time alcohol often amplifies the very things it was meant to soothe — making sleep, focus, anxiety, emotions and self-esteem worse.
The good news? There are better ways — ones that truly work with the ADHD brain with compassion, curiosity, and evidence-based tools for long-term change.
✨ If this speaks to you, you might be interested in my Breaking the Loop 8 week coaching program.
✨It’s designed specifically for ADHDers wanting to reduce, quit or take a break from alcohol - we launch on 7 July!
✨ Delivered in ADHD friendly style – weekly interactive group coaching, small bite sized videos, DAILY support in our private group via an easy-to-use video app which can be accessed on the fly, dip in/dip out materials – with absolutely no pressure to access them.
✨ Limited to 12 people to keep it safe, confidential and supportive. BOOK YOUR PLACE HERE!
I’m so excited to launch this new offering and have poured my heart soul and many years of study and lived experience into this. I’ve aimed to create what I needed.
