Ponderings on sobriety, ADHD, anxiety & wellbeing
Learnings, podcasts, stories, hacks and useful info for you to tap into!
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HALT! and other silly season survival tips
Learning to build a solid foundation within ourselves that is anchored in knowing these truths is, for so many of us, one of the hardest things we do in life. And this time of year – amongst the fun and festivities - can bring forth old family wounds, grief, loneliness, difficult relationships and exhaustion that make it even harder to stay grounded.
So here are 3 tools for you to use over the Xmas period to manage stress, alcohol, family stuff or anything else that can impact on your sense of self:
Remember the HALT acronym – HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED? It’s a super useful tool over this period (see more below) and for life in general.
Exploring the pros and cons of Mental Health Care Plans
So, you've probably heard about GP Mental Health Care Plans (MHCPs; sometimes also referred to as MHTPs for ‘Treatment’) as a way to access mental health services more affordably. They're often the go-to from GPs when you're considering mental health treatment and the type of support/practitioner they refer them on to. However, like anything, they come with their own set of pros and cons.
Many of us are not familiar with some of the implications of the MHCP - and to be clear this article is not designed to deter you from them in any way as they are invaluable for many. But it is important for all of us as health/mental health consumers to have all the information to enable us to make the best decisions for our particular circumstances and needs. So let’s take a look.
Are you different from ‘the others’?
As humans we frequently ‘other’ people we believe are not like us. From political beliefs to race, culture, life experiences, age to socioeconomic status. Most of us do this to some degree. Same with people experiencing struggles; whether that’s mental health, disability, financial difficulty, addiction, trouble with the law, unemployment. We often think we’re different to them, which usually means ‘better than’ if we’re really honest. So if similar things arise in our own lives - like issues with alcohol or mental health - it’s part of why we push it away and deny it, because that group and that label is so wholly undesirable to us. But are we really that different?
SXSW🎉CHANGING THE ‘GETTING WASTED’ AUSSIE PARTY CULTURE: SXSW SYDNEY
It was a fantastic opportunity to speak on this topic with the incredible panel Caterina Giorgi from FARE Australia, Jasper Vallance from Xstatic Sunsets and Murat KILIC (DJ, Producer, Conscious Club Events) and myself from Untoxicated at the first ever South by South West conference (SXSW) held outside of its birthplace in Austin USA.
Very heartening to see the strong interest; we were moved to a larger capacity space at the last minute because crowd numbers were double the expected. 💃As a panel we brought our own lived experience of long partying histories and alcohol use to the discussion, as well as our experiences in establishing alternative spaces for people to socialise and connect without booze.We talked about how we can shift our overconsumption of alcohol as a nation + its heavy enmeshment in our culture and ways we socialise, and paths forward to creating some change
What to do next if you think you might have ADHD: diagnosis + treatment
An overview of ADHD assessment, diagnosis and treatment for adults in Australia. Plus some recommendations, tips and insights that I learnt along the way.
The Connection between ADHD and Alcohol - why it matters
Did you know that up to 43% of people with ADHD will experience an alcohol use disorder? No, neither did I until I got diagnosed in 2022, having struggled with alcohol for decades.
So, as it’s ADHD Awareness Month and Sober October, I thought I’d write about this in case it’s not something that’s come across your radar yet. The link with ADHD and all addictions is huge! 2-4 times more than the general population. And it’s not our fault, it’s the way our brains are wired.
What is ADHD? An introduction
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has been in the news and social media a LOT over the last couple of years. But the reality is not ‘everyone is a little bit ADHD’ like we hear frequently. ADHD can be impairing across a heap of life domains. We take a look at what it is, the different types, what it impacts, and how it shows up in people's lives.
What is grey area drinking?
What is a grey area drinker? And are you one? Accredited grey area drinking coach Faye Lawrence explains all.
Why I go to therapy
None of us have it all worked out. Not your psychiatrist, your Mum, the inflluencer you follow who talks about mental health. We are ALL fallible humans who need support, guidance, help with our 'stuff'. That includes mental health professionals and those in the helping professions. Therapy gives us a way to process our emotions, our struggles, our challenges and to see things from a different and more helpful perspective. It educates us. It gives us more awareness of who we are. Everyone should do it, frankly.
Lessons learnt from my first sober overseas holiday …
Living life without alcohol is full of firsts. They come thick and fast in the beginning days, weeks and months. What will that first meal out without alcohol be like? The first social gathering? The first date? The first tough conversation? We are constantly leaning into the unknown when we navigate life sans booze.
But there’s nothing as daunting as a month’s trip overseas sober - throw in family, old friends, a big birthday, long haul flights and a heap of different countries and you’ve got triggers galore! So, what did I learn about navigating an overseas holiday alcohol-free?
What is a year of your life worth?
So many of us get caught up in the shoulds and what other people think, caught up in all these weeds of expectations. (I am certainly not immune to this btw). The perfection game - one which will we'll never win.
Then we drink to tolerate the intolerable. Lives that are not our own. Lives that are lived for the approval of others.
We drink to tolerate this disconnect between who we really are and why we're not being that person, stuck in jobs we hate, hanging out with people we really don't like that much, and maybe even in unhappy relationships.
It’s time to stop wasting your life.
Are you letting other people’s opinions hold you back?
Often clients tell me that one of the biggest hurdles for them when they're changing their drinking habits is other people. And I totally get it. It used to terrify me too.
Would they think I was boring? That I had a problem with alcohol? (which I did). Would they still want to be friends with me? Would I belong anymore? Would people still invite me? Would they think I was a weirdo? (guilty 😂). Would they pressure and guilt me? Would I be letting people down because I wasn't showing up as 'the entertainment'?
What others thought of me was more important than what I thought of myself. And it holds you back in your alcohol-free journey.
Why 'progress not perfection' works to support lasting change
One thing I see amongst almost all my clients is that they're extremely hard on themselves; they're perfectionists and their inner critic game is really strong. I very much identify with this too.
They want to achieve allllll the things - stopping drinking (or taking a break), getting fit, overhauling their diet, maybe stopping smoking if that's in the mix, being more organised or productive, improving their relationships, stop working as much - and quite possibly a whole raft of other things.
But, if we want to set ourselves up for success, lets learn from what psychology and behavioural science tells us does work in making changes. A mindset of ‘progress not perfection’ is critical in making and sustaining the changes we want.
I’m sober, so why do I feel sad?
So you’ve given up alcohol but yet you’re feeling sadness or grief? Don’t worry, it’s normal. Here’s why.