Ponderings on sobriety, neurodivergence, mental health & wellbeing
Welcome to my blog where I share reflections, hacks, some psychoeducation and tools for you to tap into.
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When the only way you know how to switch off is alcohol
Did last night end in a quick drink-or-three to decompress after a stressful day? No judgement here. That used to be me.
I hear this daily from single mums running on empty.
From high-fliers in careers that take everything they’ve got.
I hear it from those in enmeshed family dynamics which suck the life out of them with their expectations and guilting.
And, I hear it regularly from people who look completely fine from the outside but are hanging on by a thread behind closed doors.
(Just quietly, I think I ticked all of those boxes).
Accountability: the secret sauce in behaviour change?
Accountability. Does the word make you cringe? Instantly conjure up feelings of unwanted control or pressure?
If you’ve got a rebellious streak with a side of ADHD (ahem, guilty) then you probably really don’t like being told what to do and might already be side-eyeing me.
But the kind of accountability I’m talking about is different. And I’ve found it’s often the missing piece in making sustainable change including my own.
That’s because as humans we tend to do better when we know someone supportive is ‘watching’.
For example:
💪🏼We go to gym classes as being with others motivates us and we don’t want to be the one who walks out after 10 minutes (whereas left to our own devices we might just do that)
💪🏼We know we’re more inclined to meet a deadline when we there are consequences like failing a subject (whereas self-directed and paced learning is a ‘tomorrow’ proposition)
💪🏼We know we’re less likely to drink alcohol if we’re part of a group of people we’ve been doing that with and we’re going to see them in a day or two.
Why ‘just having one’ feels impossible with ADHD
If you've ever wondered why your relationship with alcohol feels harder than it seems to be for everyone else, it’s because with ADHD it is.
You’re not imagining it, you’re not making excuses, it is.
This makes ‘just having one’ often feel impossible. Here’s why and what to do.
What decades of brain imaging shows about the impact of alcohol on your brain
When drinking becomes a habit, the brain changes in measurable ways. For ADHDers, the stakes are even higher.
A 2019 major research review published in the Journal of Neuroscience Research pulled together decades of brain-imaging studies to show what actually happens in the brain when drinking becomes a struggle … and what happens when you stop.
8 years alcohol-free!
8 years alcohol free - and the utter magnificence of neuroplasticity!
HALT! and alcohol cravings
The H.A.L.T. method is simple, but powerful. It’s about pausing long enough to check in with yourself: Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?
These four states can quietly run the show if we don’t notice them — and they often explain why we make choices that don’t serve us. Here’s how it can help you with alcohol cravings.
Designing Your 2026: the simple process I use …
As we approach the end of another year, you might be feeling that familiar mix of relief, exhaustion, and perhaps a determination that next year is not going to be so ‘stressful’, ‘hectic’, ‘disorganised’ ……. (insert your relevant adjective here).
I don’t know about you but I’ve had one too many times where I’ve set lofty goals which swiftly fade into the background once real life starts up again. So what if we approached 2026 differently and explored what we want our next year to look and feel like, based on our actual values rather than external ‘shoulds’?
Are you in an abusive relationship - with alcohol?
Ever look at women or men in terrible, toxic relationships and wonder why they don’t just end it? Or why those who experience abuse from their partner might leave only to return again and again?
It doesn’t make any logical sense. Often, we can look at those situations from the outside and it’s unfathomable to us.
But is it? Isn’t this similar to what so many of us do in our relationships with alcohol?
Wondering if you might be neurodivergent?
In my work as a counsellor and ADHD coach, I often meet people who have spent years wondering why they feel “different.”
Maybe you’ve always had a sense that you were out of step with others. Or maybe you’ve scrolled past a post or video about ADHD, autism, or another form of neurodivergence and thought, that sounds exactly like me.
If you’re starting to question whether you might be neurodivergent, you’re definitely not alone—and you’re not imagining things. Here’s what to consider.
The 10 Most Common Reasons ADHD clients tell me they drink
As a therapist and coach who works at the intersection of ADHD and grey area drinking, I hear a lot of the same stories from clients about why alcohol has become such a significant part of their lives. And for most of them? It’s not about celebration or fun. It’s about relief.
But here's what I want you to know: This is not a personal failing, it’s your ADHD.
Reflections from seven years alcohol-free!
Reflections from seven years sober/alcohol-free! Here’s what I’ve learnt along the way.
HALT! and other silly season survival tips
Learning to build a solid foundation within ourselves that is anchored in knowing these truths is, for so many of us, one of the hardest things we do in life. And this time of year – amongst the fun and festivities - can bring forth old family wounds, grief, loneliness, difficult relationships and exhaustion that make it even harder to stay grounded.
So here are 3 tools for you to use over the Xmas period to manage stress, alcohol, family stuff or anything else that can impact on your sense of self:
Remember the HALT acronym – HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED? It’s a super useful tool over this period (see more below) and for life in general.
Exploring the pros and cons of Mental Health Care Plans
So, you've probably heard about GP Mental Health Care Plans (MHCPs; sometimes also referred to as MHTPs for ‘Treatment’) as a way to access mental health services more affordably. They're often the go-to from GPs when you're considering mental health treatment and the type of support/practitioner they refer them on to. However, like anything, they come with their own set of pros and cons.
Many of us are not familiar with some of the implications of the MHCP - and to be clear this article is not designed to deter you from them in any way as they are invaluable for many. But it is important for all of us as health/mental health consumers to have all the information to enable us to make the best decisions for our particular circumstances and needs. So let’s take a look.
Are you different from ‘the others’?
As humans we frequently ‘other’ people we believe are not like us. From political beliefs to race, culture, life experiences, age to socioeconomic status. Most of us do this to some degree. Same with people experiencing struggles; whether that’s mental health, disability, financial difficulty, addiction, trouble with the law, unemployment. We often think we’re different to them, which usually means ‘better than’ if we’re really honest. So if similar things arise in our own lives - like issues with alcohol or mental health - it’s part of why we push it away and deny it, because that group and that label is so wholly undesirable to us. But are we really that different?
SXSW🎉Changing the ‘getting wasted’ Aussie party culture
It was a fantastic opportunity to speak on this topic with the incredible panel Caterina Giorgi from FARE Australia, Jasper Vallance from Xstatic Sunsets and Murat KILIC (DJ, Producer, Conscious Club Events) and myself from Untoxicated at the first ever South by South West conference (SXSW) held outside of its birthplace in Austin USA.
As a panel we brought our own lived experience of long partying histories and alcohol use to the discussion, as well as our experiences in establishing alternative spaces for people to socialise and connect without booze. We talked about how we can shift our overconsumption of alcohol as a nation and ways we socialise, and paths forward to creating some change.