About me
When I stopped drinking in 2017, it wasn’t because I wanted to.
It was because it just wasn’t working anymore …
At 44 I’d had had a lifetime of using booze to quell my anxiety, to manage stress, to fuel my social life and to stop me facing myself and my buried pain and trauma from a dysfunctional and chaotic past.
I’d had many, many largely unsuccessful attempts to moderate or stop during this time.
Through all this I’d been:
a single parent to small children in a country where I barely knew a soul and had no support network
a high-flier in corporate life, juggling long hours and huge levels of stress in a work hard/play hard environment
in unhealthy relationships that were controlling and toxic, and left me experiencing night terrors and flashbacks for years.
The common thread throughout all of this was booze.
It was what I used to cope and switch off. It was ‘fun’!
It was the salve to everything, or so I thought.
My debilitating anxiety, my chronically low self-esteem, my complete lack of boundaries, my avoidance of dealing with the reality of my life which I felt powerless to change.
But, after decades, it just wasn’t working anymore.
My deftly crafted fun-loving party girl persona wasn’t even fooling me.
I couldn’t supress my deep sadness and self loathing anymore.
That’s when I had to admit, finally, that I had lost control of my drinking, that I was deeply suffering and that I needed help.
It was absolutely mortifying at the time - but looking back asking for help was probably the most courageous thing I’ve ever done.
I took to doing the work once and for all, I threw everything at it, and I haven’t had a drink since.
And here’s the thing … it changed my life completely.
All the things I had been looking for years, I found when I stopped drinking.
That was the irony; I had resisted it for so long believing I’d be missing out.
I honestly had no idea of the incredible amount I would gain.
I lost 9 kgs in 7 months without trying.
With my two girls and furry baby, Nala.
Graduating psych - finally! 10 long yrs.
Winning a Toastmasters contest - after a lifelong terror of public speaking!
Aside from the more obvious things like weight loss, better health, mental health and finances there were much deeper and life-changing benefits:
I started to like and believe in myself, and slowly I was learning to trust myself too.
I was able to start living my values, honouring myself and having my own damn back instead of constantly self-sabotaging.
I was able to start feeling glimpses of joy in day-to-day life, in the simple things. Small glimmers. A contentment that had eluded me.
The blinkers started falling away and I was able to see things in my life much more clearly - and where shifts needed to be made - so I could improve my life.
Relationships with my children and the people closest to me improved. As I grew to respect myself, they did too. They could rely on me now, and became my biggest supporters.
I started smashing my comfort zone, realising it was no longer serving me, and releasing the things that had been holding me back.
And that’s why I am so passionate about supporting people who are high functioning ‘problem’ drinkers like I was to put down the wine glass and come home to themselves.
Because it eluded me for so many years, and it pains me for you to waste all that precious life stuck in this cycle.
You really do deserve better.
This sh*t isn’t easy, my friend. But it’s so worth it.
The boring (but necessary) bits - my qualifications & experience
Bachelor of Social Science (Psychology)
Post Graduate Diploma (Counselling)
ADHD Coach Training (ADDCA USA)
Certified Grey Area Drinking Coach - personally trained by Jolene Park (GAD expert/functional practitioner)
Lifeline suicide prevention training (ASIST)
SMART Recovery Facilitator training
Trauma-informed care for Alcohol and Other Drug Practice
Relapse Prevention & Management, Expanding Coping Skills - Insight
Non-violent communication (NVC, developed by Marshall Rosenberg PhD)
Memberships & other:
Registered counsellor (Lvl 2) - Australian Counselling Association
SMART Recovery Australia Board Member
I founded Untoxicated in 2018, a volunteer-run charity, personally supporting hundreds of people to change their relationship with alcohol
Intergenerational lived experience relating to mental health, addiction, eating disorders, complex PTSD, co-dependency - and a late diagnosis of ADHD at 48
My therapeutic approach & modalities:
I use a neuro-biopsychosocial, trauma-informed and neuro-affirming approach integrating techniques from the following modalities: Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) | Motivational Interviewing | Solution-Focussed Therapy | Attachment Theory | Grow Coaching Model | Self-Determination Theory | Self-Compassion (Dr Kristin Neff) | Psychodynamic Therapy | Positive Psychology (Strengths-based) | Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) | Polyvagal Theory/Nervous System Regulation | Transtheoretical Model of Behaviour Change | Neuroscience & Neuroplasticity
